


Nightshade's Son

by jcrycolr3wradc



Series: Well that could have been worse... [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Supernatural AU - Freeform, dinner with your boyfriends family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:51:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jcrycolr3wradc/pseuds/jcrycolr3wradc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo meets Thorin's family of Hunters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightshade's Son

“Dwalin, at yer service.”

Bilbo was starting to seriously regret his blithe promise to Thorin about meeting the rest of the hunters in Thorin’s family. The man standing in front of him was easily 6’6 with an assortment of tattoos and piercings. The tattoos looked vaguely Norse and Germanic in origin but to decipher them properly Bilbo would have to get closer, and he was quite sure he did not want to get any closer, thank you very much. 

“Yes, of course please come in.” Bilbo stepped aside and let the man, Dwalin, in despite his nervousness. “My sitting room is in right through here, and dinner shall be out in 30 minutes, once   
everyone arrives, of course.” Bilbo chattered, hands clasped tightly in front of him. Dwalin did not say anything and appeared to be casting a critical eye over everything from the dollies to the door knobs. 

“Shouldn’t take that long, lad.” Dwalin turned and looked Bilbo dead in the eye. “You’ll find in our profession, timing is everything.” 

~~~~

15 minutes later, Bilbo was considering hiding in his bathroom. Dwalin had been quite correct. It had taken less than half an hour for his life to become completely insane. Less than two minutes after Dwalin arrived, his brother Balin rang the bell. Two minutes after him, it was Oin, and his nephew Gimli. Bilbo had only just finished telling them where to find the kitchen when the door rang again. This time it was a group of three, Bifur, who had a great long scar down his face and wore an eye patch, Bofur who wore a deerstalker, and Bombur who was nearly as wide as Bilbo was tall. They greeted him cheerfully and from the great cheering from the sitting room, they were well received by the rest of their family as well. Bilbo was checking on the roast when the bell rang out again. This time it was, Dori, Nori and Ori. Dori walked in and immediately complimented “The very fine crochet”, hanging on the back of a chair. Bilbo smiled hesitantly. The youngest, (As far as he could tell, Gimli looked fairly wet behind the ears but was so tall and muscled he looked older.) Ori spotted his book shelves and made a bee line towards them, but only after thrusting a hastily wrapped package into Bilbo’s hands. “For the host.” Was the only answer he gave. By time Bilbo turned around to properly greet Nori, the man himself seemed to have vanished. Bilbo, sighed, put the package on the hall table and retreated back to the kitchen.

Everyone had been plied with crisps and cheeses when the there was a knock. Bilbo swung it open once more and nearly sighed in relief as he saw it was Thorin, along with two younger men and a woman. 

“Bilbo, may I present Dis, and her sons,”

“Fili.” 

“And Kili.”

“At your service.” 

They chorused, bowing together. 

“And I at yours, I’m quite sure.” Bilbo said, bowing back before stepping back to let them into the house. “Please come in. Dinner isn’t for another ten minutes.” He chuckled. “Your family is very prompt.” 

Dis stepped forward, her sharp eyes looking over Bilbo. “So this is this the man who has so bewitched my brother.” She raised an eyebrow, and smiled slightly. 

“Ah. Yes the pleasure is all mine, I assure you.” Bilbo was trying to keep the nervous stutter out of his voice as she circled him. 

Finally finishing her visual examination Dis turned to Thorin. “I like him. Far better than that last twit you had us meet.” Then she turned to Bilbo and gave him one of the most rib crushing hugs he’d had since his own mother had died. Bilbo looked over her shoulder at Thorin, who was smiling, and could have cried with relief. 

~~~~

It was after dinner and the entire party was on the back lawn. The summer night was pleasant and moths fluttered on the breeze. 

“So Mr. Boggins, how did you know about hunters?”  
Thorin could feel Bilbo stiffen under his arm. Then he sighed and put down his teacup. 

“My mother was a Hunter.” Silence fell of over the assembled group as everyone looked at Bilbo. “She did not tell me until after my father died, so I don’t know if she ever told him. I think she just wanted -” his voice broke and he cleared his throat before continuing. “To tell someone before she passed.” He gestured to Gandalf, who had arrived right in the middle of desert, which was odd because neither Thorin nor Bilbo had invited him. Now he sat with his hat pulled low and smoking a pipe. “That’s how she came to meet Gandalf.” 

“What was her name?” Gimli, who was indeed the youngest, despite appearances, blurted out. 

“Belladonna Took, but I don’t see how –“ 

“Nightshade? You’re Nightshade’s son?” Balin interrupted. 

“Yes? Does that matter?” Bilbo said, sounding very confused. 

“Bleeding Hell it does! Nightshade was a famous hunter in these parts. You still hear beasties curse her name.” Bofur exclaimed. 

“She never mentioned.” Bilbo said faintly, eyes wide. 

“She retired a long time ago. She was probably not even aware of her notoriety.” Balin explained. The other Hunters muttered in agreement. 

“My first dagger was named Nightshade.” Fili said proudly. 

“She never brought it up?” Dori asked insistently. “Nothing odd ever happened?”

“Well we were robbed a few times, but the damage was never extensive.” Bilbo frowned and shook his head. “I promise you, while my mother knew my father, she never did anything out of the ordinary.” 

“What did your father do?” asked Kili eagerly. 

“He was a grocer by trade but there was old family money so he didn’t need to work if he didn’t want to.” Bilbo explained. 

“Imagine that! The famous Nightshade married to a green grocer.” Nori sniggered, lighting up a cigarette. 

“Pardon me?” Bilbo whipped around and glared at the man. Dori reached around to rap his brother sharply on his head. 

“He meant no offense by it, master Baggins. There is no shame in being a grocer.” He cast a significant look at Ori as he spoke, but was ignored. 

Silenced reigned once more over the party. Bilbo relaxed once more under Thorin’s arm. Dis cast a speculative look at them before snubbing out her cigarette, and stretching. 

“Well I say you should marry him.” 

Bilbo gasped and felt heat spread over his face, as Thorin barked “Dis!”

“What, you clearly care for him and he cooks like Gordon Ramsey.” The group muttered their agreement. 

“Can we call you uncle?” Kili asked, as Gimli laughed. 

“You can take that banshee case, and then we’ll talk about it.” Thorin said, scowling at his nephew and cousin. 

“And if you still feel cheeky, you have open permission to tackle the dirty dishes in the sink.” Bilbo snapped. “Anyway I won’t be marrying anyone.” At Thorin’s injured look, he continued, “Well at least not right now. And certainly not before seeing where you lot live.” 

“Come up this weekend,” Thorin immediately offered. “We have room.” 

“Well…” Bilbo hesitated. 

“Oh yes. Do come up. We won’t stop badgering you until you agree.” Dis said in a singsong voice. The entire party had eyes on him. 

“Oh alright, if you insist. But only for the weekend.”

**Author's Note:**

> Lucryllyn gets a hundred virtual dollars. So hugs, or kittens, or possibly Thorin Oakenshield. What ever you prefer. Also if you are wondering where Gloin is, we'll get there.   
> Also if I have any dyslexic readers out there who like to write, find a text to speech program. Criminally useful if you dont have someone who will read over your work.


End file.
